I figured out yesterday that though I am turning twenty-three in October (just a month away!) I am still a kid at heart. I delight in parks and swingsets, saying that I am "____-and-a-half" years old, painting a friend's toenails, sleepovers, and a few other things that I can't think of now.
Am I this way because I had to spend the last near eight years of my life getting to be a "guest neurologist"? of sorts, learning as much as I could about the mysterious disease epilepsy? And so am I this way because of circumstances that happened, or would I be this way without epilepy--wow, I can't even spell--epilepsy? For me, this is a thought to ponder sometimes, but the answer is one that only God knows. When people say "Oh, you're epileptic?" If I remember, I have to correct them. No. I'm not. I have epilepsy. It doesn't have a hold on me. I am not going to make my choices for the day based on whether or not I may have a seizure. If I did that, I'd be walking around in the middle of the month with a hockey helmet on my head. I would be living in a spirit of fear, and I believe that would be going against everything I've learned over the years about not being given a spirit of fear, and several other verses in the bible tell me that God doesn't want me to fear. Also, that He will give His angels charge over me, to keep me in all my ways. I have no choice but to believe this. Falling off my bike nine days ago, it COULD HAVE been a hit and run, but God is using these seizures and "time outs" in hospitals for something. "Me Days," from school and work? When I had one (a seizure) in a restaurant in June, as soon as I was out of the hospital (literally!), the same day I was out of the hospital, my boss was on the phone, calling to see if I'd come in to work for a few hours!! (I love my boss and my job! =) And I wanted normalcy, and it was easy work, so I went. NOTE: My three hour shift turned out to only be like an hour, or hour and a half, because it was VERY slow, and I was tired, so I volunteered to go home early. Life is good. God is better. =)
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